By Kamari Scales, Junior English Education Student

“FULL RIDE”. When I found the fateful email, buried in my spam folder like a wonderfully kept secret, I was coincidentally ranting to a friend about the expenses of college. We had been going to the gym together, but I could not focus on exercising. The two bold words kept dancing around in my head. I was closing in on the last few months of my senior year of high school; I did not have enough money to cover tuition for the school I had originally chosen. Then, there was Livingstone College, a small school I had never heard of before. Out of the twenty or so schools I applied to, Livingstone was the only school to fully celebrate my academic achievements, offering to absorb the full cost of my education. The burden of paying for college, heavy as the dumbbells I struggled to hold, had finally been dropped.

My parents were excited for me, but I was hesitant to change my mind about my college decision. My high school was in the small-but-growing town of Gibsonville. Even though I had Black and Brown classmates, the population was still predominantly white. I secretly longed for the HBCU experience, so I took advantage of CFNC’s Free Application week and applied to many different HBCUs. I knew deep down that I wanted to be somewhere that had history and connection to those who came before me. I wanted that sense of belonging, of being surrounded by people who looked like me, of being immersed in a culturally unique environment. Despite my desire for this experience, my hesitancy to change my mind was fueled by uncertainty. Was Livingstone the place for me? Was I an idiot for not wanting to accept a full ride to a school I had never heard of? What did it say about my character? How did I know I was making the right choice?

Later that night, I spoke with my father. He understood my hesitation to make such a big decision because he had to make a similar one. Instead of attending his father’s alma mater, North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University, he chose to attend a predominately white institution far from home to begin his own legacy. Eventually, he came back home to Aggieland for his graduate studies and is now a proud alumnus of both institutions. Knowing my father’s story was another reason I chose Livingstone, because I wanted to be different from my other classmates who were all going to the same schools. Knowing my indecisiveness gets in the way of my decision making, my father kept his advice simple and short: “Go to Salisbury and try it out. If you don’t like it, you can come back home, and we’ll do something else. At least say you tried.”

With my father’s encouragement, I scheduled a campus tour and quickly decided that Livingstone was where I needed to be.

Kamari and other Livingstone students at the CIAA Tournament in Baltimore, MD.

However, adjusting to college life presented me with some ups and downs. I had never been away from my parents for a long period of time. I cried like a baby on freshmen move-in day and every day after. My social anxiety skyrocketed around all the new people, who all seemed like they had been friends forever. I had never felt so alone. Despite my discomfort in the new environment, I eventually became more comfortable and made a few friends.

Freshman year ended and I realized that I only took a few steps outside of my comfort zone. I joined some clubs, most notably the Student Activities Board, placing myself in more social situations than I was used to. But I had not gone anywhere. I declined to go to the CIAA tournament in Baltimore because I did not want to miss class. I did not go to the Honda Campus All Star Challenge Quiz Bowl Tournament in California because…I did not want to miss class. Opportunities, and life, were passing by just as quickly as freshman year ended. I looked back and thought, “What did I even do this year? What do I tell people when I go back home? What was the point of joining all these things but not reaping the rewards for my hard work?”

There was only one answer: Instead of saying no, I had to say yes.

Kamari and the Honda Campus All-Star Challenge Quiz Bowl team at the National Championship Tournament in California.

So, in my sophomore year, I vowed to use my time at Livingstone to become the woman I was destined to be. I planned to leave behind my fears and uncertainty by embracing saying, “Yes”.

One of the first things I said yes to was attending the National Championship Tournament in California with our Honda Campus All-Star Challenge Quiz Bowl team. I had never been on a plane, nor had I been on the west coast. Going to California was an amazing trip! The highlight was going to Disneyland and meeting my favorite Disney princess, Tiana, eating at her restaurant, and riding on her new park attraction. Seeing Princess Tiana, a character who looked like me and who I deeply admire for her work ethic, reaffirmed that I had made the right decision, to say yes to the trip and to attending Livingstone.

Kamari with Princess Tiana at Disneyland (California).

I did a lot more last school year but of everything I did, perhaps my proudest achievement is becoming a member of the Sigma chapter of Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc. During the campus tour that helped solidify my decision to attend Livingstone, I was introduced to Alyssa Walker-Gurnell, the first Zeta I had ever met. She was knowledgeable and opinionated, and her pride in the school impressed me.

Two years later, I stood behind Alyssa as she helped lead my sisters and me to the stage on the night of our new members presentation. The auditorium lights beamed down strong and bright, blinding me from seeing my proud family and friends in the crowd, but I could hear my mother loud and clear on the front row: “That’s my baby!” After the show, I stood inside the gate of our Zeta plot, basking in the cool rain, silently celebrating the new path added to my Livingstone journey. The road to Zeta, another story in itself, was not easy, yet it was undeniably one of the most fulfilling moments of my life so far. Saying, “Yes!” to joining a sorority was just one step on the list of things I planned to accomplish. Most importantly, I realize that saying yes to attending Livingstone was the catalyst of my inevitable growth and success.

As I embark on my junior year at Livingstone, I cannot think of a reason why I would not return. Livingstone has given me more than a chance to further my education – it has given me the opportunity to grow and learn, a safe place to make mistakes, and life lessons that I will carry with me forever.

If given the chance to do it all over again, there would be only one concrete answer: “Yes”.